A Safe Place to Share their Stories
Monday, May 20, 2019
By Meelan Karki, KVS Health and Wellness Administrator
I have spent every day of the past 5 years coming to work at Kopila Valley School. The counseling center has played an important role in creating a place where the students feel safe, loved, and nurtured. It's a place where they have an opportunity to share their grievances, happiness, and stories.
The fact that our students come from underprivileged backgrounds is challenging in my role as the Health and Wellness Administrator. The kids come from a life where they lack basic needs, such as food, healthcare, and safety. They come to school carrying different stories in their hearts.
We often hear stories of abuse, gender discrimination, sexual assault, and even rape. We hear stories of not having enough food at home and coming to school with an empty stomach. We hear stories of going to school in the only clothes they own, their school uniforms. We hear stories of walking to school from the flood camp, where they live without a proper roof over their head.
It is so important for the children to have a place where they can share their stories. However, hearing those stories can be overwhelming. It has been the greatest challenge for me. What gives me strength is knowing that after hearing a story, my team can help. We can identify the child’s underlying need and find a solution to the problem, whether that's through the crisis management team, the counseling team, or the student & family welfare team. We always try to get to the root cause of the issue.
My greatest achievement was a case we had that required legal action. After the case had been filed, a government counselor asked this student what gave them the courage to report the issue. The student replied, “That’s just what we do at our school. Everyone knows that when you have a problem, you go to Meelan Miss and seek help. She would do anything to solve it. So that’s what I did.” I was proud to hear that the students feel like the counseling department is a safe place to share their stories.
We have rescued girls from child marriage and human trafficking cases and relocated them to a safer living environment in the community. We live very close to the Indian border, so if we don’t act quickly using the appropriate channel, we might miss the chance to rescue a child. We are always alert, all of the time.
We live in a community where women and girls are treated as inferiors because of their gender. When we look closely at families of Kopila Valley School, we see women and girls taking care of their family, cooking, washing, doing chores, as well as working to earn a living. Oftentimes, the students' mothers can be seen working day and night to care for their families, while their fathers can be seen in tea shops in the morning and alcohol shops in the evening. We see many cases of girls suffering from depression or trauma because their families treat them poorly for being a girl. When a daughter is born, she is treated like a curse.
Many of our girls report that they face discrimination at home. We had a father who drunkenly chased his daughter with a khukuri (knife), trying to kill her because she is a girl. We had a father who threw his daughter in a pool in the hope that she would drown. We have mothers who tell their daughters that since eventually she will be married off, investing in her is in vain. When we hear about these stories, we respond with counseling, empowerment programs, and motivational sessions.
Sometimes, nothing seems to work. How can we empower the children at school and send them home to the same toxic environment? We decided to create a safe living environment for the girls with the most vulnerable cases. It’s been working. The girls in the Big Sisters’ Home are getting stronger and happier. They are starting to dream about their futures.
In Nepali culture, families often don’t talk about issues in their lives. It is common to hold in emotions and stories. We know that it can be harmful to hold in these thoughts. When the students come to school with these stories weighing them down, and they can’t focus on classwork or use their talents and skills fully. It’s so important to have someone to talk to. I am grateful that I can be that person for some of our children. Imagine what it's like to have a stone in your heart, and for the relief you would feel when it is removed. That’s what it’s like for our kids.
We need to keep talking about stigmas and taboos and keep raising awareness about important issues. In school, our kids learn about menstrual hygiene, sexual education, gender discrimination, social media safety, child marriage, and more. This may seem controversial to some people in our community, but to us, it’s a necessary part of keeping our kids safe.
My hope for our students is that they grow up to be true human beings. I want their strong educational background to be partnered with a well-rounded life. I want them to be nurtured and loved so that they can make a positive influence on another person. I want them to be changemakers more than I want them to be professionals working 9 to 5 jobs in an office. I hope to see them recognizing the gravity of a Kopila Valley education and giving back to the community. I want them to respect every individual in this world, human and animal alike. I want them to change lives. I want to see them happy and sharing happiness wherever they go.
I am feeling so much inside and it’s hard to sum it up in words on paper. Whenever I think about these kids, I feel so overwhelmed with love. They are my family.